Because We are Men and We can't help it! :D

Well it's been a month since I last blogged. Too much work and the not-so-easy-CA-student-lifestyle seldom leaves me with spare time. Also, i wanted to write something humorous this time and trust me it's quite difficult to fill 300 words of humor and make you laugh.(At-least for me)
I eventually could not come up with something good all this while but yesterday i read this article somewhere on the net. It had some questions WOMEN want an answer to. I thought I'll be the better person to answer them. So, without boring you anymore, go on, read it. I really hope you like it!
P.s. - No offence to the opposite sex. I truly love and respect them all. :)

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Because We are Men and We can't help it!

Question: Why are men such jerks?
Answer:  Many men aren't jerks, but sadly, the jerks seem to be the ones that get the most attention. Men aren't the same as women. They don't like to talk about their feelings very much. :)

Question: Why do men always have to ogle at other women?
Answer: This is a testosterone thing, we can't help it. Also, beauty is meant to be looked at, right? Actually, Women do it as well. They are just better at not getting caught. Duh!

Question: Why do men sometimes touch themselves at weird places in public?
Answer: We don't do that intentionally. We just make our li'l friend comfortable. Pretty much like you adjust your bra.

Question:  What's with all the belching and farting?
Answer: This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you.  

Question: Why do men always say stupid things?
Answer: Well, we intentionally do that. It's great fun to see your counterpart irritated and I guess girls look very cute that way. (*_^)

Question: Why don't men talk much?
Answer: Well, you'll eventually learn that if you always land in a problem whenever you speak your heart out.

Question: Do men feel low at times?
Answer: Just because we guys don't have menstrual cycles doesn't mean we don't feel low. 

Question: Why can't men just share there feelings when they feel low?
Answer: We are not women. How the hell are we supposed to explain when we ourselves don't know that feeling in words.

Question: Do all men masturbate?
Answer: Yes! It's again a testosterone thing. We just need to remind our li'l friend time and again that it's not only there for pee thing.

Question: Why do we stare at a girl's breasts even before her face?
Answer: Well, that works like, if a girl is beautiful(at face) then we have an instant curiosity about her hanging parts and if she is not so beautiful why look at her face?

Question: Why do men hate shopping?
Answer: We can't express but it's highly irritating to roam around in search of clothes to various places and eventually buy the same dress we saw in the very first mall. We'd better play a game of cricket instead! *smirk*

Question: Why do men find blonde/bimbos attractive?
Answer:  Even leaving the physical aside, blonde/bimbos are generally much easier to get along (alone) with. They like having fun and doing exciting things.(You get what I am talking about! *wink*)

Question: What does it mean when men say, "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now" or "I don't want a girlfriend?"

Answer: It means that we like you enough to sleep with you, but not enough so that we want to see you repeatedly.

Question: Why do men only have one thing on their minds?
Answer: While technically correct, this statement is not strictly true. We may only be able to entertain one idea at a time, but we do think of lots of other things besides sex, such as sports and beer. We also get hungry quite often.

Well above all, we do fall in love and screw it up bad at times. We are weird, creepy, irritating and not-so-good words at times but then the opposite sex was made the smarter and you have to bear with us, Please! (^_^)
Lastly I remember a line from one of the leading authors, "Men/Boys are stupid. Forgive us. God made us that way!"

You would say...."I LOVE YOU!"

I wrote in my last blog that I can't describe love in 300 odd words and i still can't but i have been forced and requested to do it. So, i tried my level best to describe through this short poem.

Love has it's different forms and everyone has a different view on love. Any combination of the 26 alphabets can't describe love. For some it's a person, like she's what love is or he is what love means to me, for some it's a feeling which cannot be described, for some it's quite over-rated nowadays, for some it's still something they don't know of and for some it's pain and the agony. For me, it's all of them.
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I'll learn to live with it....SOMEDAY...

As it's the Valentine Week and everyone is blogging about love, statuses are flooded about love and blah blah. So, I am not writing about love. It's kinda difficult for me to express love in such a short blog. I thought of writing about something else. I wrote this poem last night. Actually I got the idea from a friend who felt lonely the other evening when it was raining. Whenever it rains we associate it with love, pain or fun. She had an awful break-up just few days back and i could only hear as she said. No matter how much we guys pretend to be cold, we are actually quite weak at that thing beating in the middle of our chests. I have written it from a girl's perspective. Read on. I hope you'll like it. :)

I'll Learn to live with it....Some Day...

As these raindrops fall on my eyes....My tears make way for the drops....
I feel the droplets as I close my eyes....and his face crops ...

I open them suddenly...unable to bear the pain....Unable to bear the hollowness in my heart....
It was just yesterday we were together but now we are apart...

But I guess I’ll learn to live with it....Some Day....

As the water touches my feet, I remember the day when we first met.....
The sea that existed...The rest of the world, which ceased to exist, I fell in love, I bet!

It was just me and you.....
I wish we’d sail through....

The moonlight falling on us...
Lighting up the smile on my face...
And the waves of the sea....
and you said, you admired my grace!

Waves touched our feet and you said you love me....
I hugged you tight and I was filled with glee....

Those moments, Our memories won’t stay away from me, ever…
I didn’t know then, that the pleasure wont stay with me forever....

That I would stand alone in the rain....

Hoping that it would wash away my sorrow....

But I guess I’ll learn to live with it....Some Day....

Maybe it was all my fault...I couldn’t love you enough....

Maybe I went too rough...I am just so impatient and stuff…

But how do I tell you...?

How much I yearn for that feeling....

Me in your arms...

and the world seemed complete...

How do I tell you....?

How lonely I feel tonight....

Without you in sight…life is complete shit…

But I guess I’ll learn to live with it....Some Day....

How I miss those rains....
When we walked together....
My head on your shoulders...
All worries kept aside, all pains got over....

How we danced in those rains...Not caring for the rest of the world...Leaving all our sorrows behind...Living for the moment....in your arms I curled..

And here I stand....

All Alone.....

Waiting for you.....Waiting for a miracle to make things perfect as before…

But I guess I’ll learn to live with it....Some Day....

Life Reduced to Ashes!

I felt myself being moved roughly.

He held my shoulders and shook me. I was in deep slumber.

I did not want to get up whatsoever.

"Wake up Abhi! Wake Up!" he whispered with his voice heavy.

I finally opened my eyes with a lot of effort and looked up at him. It took me minute to get my eyes to focus on the room. I looked at the window. It was dark out there.

I held up my watch and looked at the time. It was about 4 a.m.

I glared at Ankit fiercely. Why did he have to wake me up so early?

"Yeah...What?" I said.

He looked at me for a minute, his face strangely blank and his eyes filled with tears.

"My dad....is dead."

I turned over and kept my head back on the pillow."Shut up!!!Bakwaas Mat Kar!!", I said angrily. "And let me sleep."


I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep almost immediately.

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It feels strange to start this story.....Because the room in which I'm sitting right now, writing this story is the very room where this story ends.....This is a true story.....And very close to my heart. I release a heavy breath as I begin.

***

You love your dad?

Silly Question.

No matter how many times he doesn’t give you your pocket money, no matter how many times he shouts on you, no matter how many times he forces you to study, you still love him.

But now the person I'm talkin about didn’t force his kids in anything, neither did he shout at them or stop giving them their pocket money.

Now about 6-7 years back, he used to give his children 8 Dirham(Dubai's currency) everyday. That rounds up to about Rs.105....and that means about Rs.4000 per month.

So there’s no doubt his children loved him SO MUCH!!!

But one bad habit this person had was that he was a chain smoker. Cigarettes were one thing he couldn't resist

Now, in my opinion people who smoke are weak.

I’ll explain....

People say that a person who smokes is probably going through a lot. They say, a smoker has a lot of tensions in mind, so he smokes to relax. Smoking gives them pleasure.

Now, every smoker must have a family or at least one true friend.

Or anyone with whom they can share everything.

So, why the HELL do they need a smoke to relieve their tensions?

What are we guys for?

So coming back to the story, the person had everything one could have wished for.

A nice (read as highly paid) job in Dubai, a great wife, two sons and a loving family, who used to wait for them every year, to spend their holidays in India.

So it came as a shock when a tumor was diagnosed in his body.

Its like, god grew jealous of the "Perfectness" of that person's life.

The person was my father's elder brother.

He came back to India, got a surgery done in Fortis.

The surgery was thankfully successful and he went back to Dubai.

Life came back to normal.

But did it really?

Two years later, it was found that the tumor had been cancerous and the cancer cells had spread all through his body.

"So what?" he thought. "We have the best doctors in India. The cells will be destroyed in no time"

But sadly that wasn’t going to happen.

He came back. He had many treatments.

He was admitted in the best Cancer Hospital in Delhi.

He went through many medical processes, most of them were more painful than you can ever think.

He had completely changed. He had grown bald and thin as a stick, thanks to "Chemotherapy".

It’s a treatment which burns body cells. Terribly painful.....And it sucks out all your energy for a lifetime.

But he stayed happy through out this time. Joking all the way, making others laugh. That's how he had been but life had it's own ways.

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[JANUARY 24th,2004]

We used to stay in S.J Enclave during that time. We had been regularly visiting my Tauji at my Grandmother's place but that particular day, everyone’s morale's were down.

I was told earlier that he was going to be perfectly fine. That's what kids were told. 

But that evening, from what I got to hear, his condition was worsening by the minute.

I still remember. He was lying down on the bed, a nurse by his side.

His eyes were unfocused. He wasn’t looking at anything in particular. His body had become very frail, very contradicting to his usual appearance. A typical bulky Punjabi, who loves having food and wants to have fun in every moment of his life.

He was going through pain. A lot of pain.

When we came to him and sat by his side, he made some random noise.

My dad told me, that the cancer had spread to most of his body, and he wasn't able to recognize anyone anymore.

He wasn’t able to speak as well, nor understand anything.

He was just lying their, writhing with pain. He had no clue about anything. He just felt pain.

My cousins (his sons) were called urgently from Dubai that evening.

That could not be a good sign.

They reached by night.

We had dinner, talked for sometime and then went to sleep.

Me and my elder cousin were made to sleep in the drawing room, because a lot of people were already their in the house.

But we were suddenly woken up. My mom and taiji woke us up and shifted us to a bedroom in the middle of the night.

I was half asleep at that time, but I remember that they were both crying.

I was not shocked at this, because they were crying a lot since a couple of weeks.

We were made to lie down in the bed and we immediately fell asleep again.

****

[JANUARY 25th,2004] [4:00 a.m.]

I felt myself being moved roughly.

He held my shoulders and shook me. I was in deep sleep.

I did not want to get up whatsoever.

"Wake up Abhi! Wake Up!" he whispered.

I finally opened my eyes with a lot of effort and looked up at him. It took me minute to get my eyes to focus on the room. I looked at the window. It was dark.

I held up my watch and looked at the time. It was about 4 a.m.

I glared at Ankit. Why did he have to wake me up so early?

"Yeah...What?" I said.

He looked at me for a minute, his face strangely blank.

"My dad....is dead."

I turned over and kept my head back on the pillow."Shut up!!!Bakwaas mat kar!!!", I said angrily. "Let me sleep."


I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep almost immediately.


***

The next morning I woke up to find me alone on the bed.

I turned around and saw a couple of relatives sitting in the room, looking at me mournfully.

I got up and opened the door.

I looked out.

There he was lying down peacefully. I had not seen his face at ease since a long long time.

He was covered in a white sheet. My Grandmother resting her head on him and crying hard.

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This was, sadly, the end of a perfect life......The end of a happy, complete family, and to some the end of everything.

It’s been 5 yrs now, and all of us have moved on. I still sometimes sit besides Ankit sometimes and all he says is, "The most beautiful journey in a guy's life is when he transforms from a boy into a man, for me that journey was traveled in a few seconds." and I am rendered speechless.

Life has slowly come back to normal and we have started living our lives to the hilt again.

But there’s something which I wont be able to forget ever.

A son saying, "My dad...is dead"

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I don't know whether this story or not. I just hope you like it and at the end what I wanted to convey is conveyed. :)

Friend in need, fuck you indeed!

"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth." - Chanakya

Tales and stories about friendship are told time and again to us by our elders to let us understand the true meaning of friendship. I still remember R.K Narayan's Swami and friends, the story of the crab, crane and the fishes, the story of a lame and a blind guy and much more. Such stories help us know how friendship should be and how valuable true friends are. Every story based on friendship tells the fact that true friends are gifts of God and One should not let small disputes and misunderstandings strain friendships.
But is all this true in the context of today's life?
Do we still value friendship as much as it ought to be?I need to share an incident few days back.
I went off to an old friend today for some work and I was a bit shocked to see him. I last met him in February, almost nine months ago and since then we had no connection. I got busy with my CA thing and he got busy with his work. He is 23, a MBA from Symbiosis and works with a MNC in Gurgaon. He was a 'work hard-party harder' kinda guy then and now he lay there like some devdas or something. He was a stud and always had girls drooling over him. He always remained clean shaven and always loved to flaunt his perfect fit body, his new branded clothes and his Honda civic. I went over and he opened the door only after several attempts. He faked a smile and said a hi to me. I saw around as his room was completely in a mess, he hadn't shaved for over two weeks now and had been smoking and drinking since morning. The room smelt foul and had too much negativity engrossed in it.  As soon as i entered he offered me a seat and hinted that the packet of my documents was kept there. Polite way of saying fuck off. I was about to leave but couldn't. Once so cheerful guy turned into this stage had a story behind it and i was too keen to know it. I stopped and asked him, "You mind if i share a smoke?". He shooked his head and I rested my ass on that couch. Ten minutes passed and I initiated the chat, "You wish to share anything Bhaiya?" He dint respond. I started again and said, "Maybe you'll feel better bhai. let it go" He dint respond till then. I got up and decided to leave when he narrated:
I have taken a day off from work today and I wish I hadn't. I am so used to this busy life of mine now that this sudden ease haunts me now. I feel so lonely and it kills me now. I feel like one of these walls. I always had a bunch of friends around me. We would live and die for each other. Now, there's no one to bother about.
Last March my mother died of Cancer. She left and I felt so helpless. All my Dad's and my reserve went into her medication but sadly we couldn't save her. I was in that filthy smelling room when she passed away. The few last words exchanged are still engraved in my heart and haunt me till now. She just asked me to leave and I told her that if the pain is unbearable, you must leave Maa. She last told me that she was holding on only because of me and then she breathed her last breath. I cried and it was too tough in the initial days but I became mature and overcame it. Dad helped and I got back to business.
During this while not a single friend of mine came to comfort me. A few formal messages and that was all. Not a single one came up and met me. Even the BFF's dint bother. I thought they might be hooked with something else and chose to ignore. Their sympathy was something I never wanted but a bit Care was expected. I had lost my Car until then. My i-phone was stolen meanwhile and I chose to buy a cheaper Nokia phone. Our financial condition was even more ruined as Dad's name got involved in the 3g scam and life went from awesome to shit. Everyone knew what i was going through but no one bothered. We did swear to be friend's forever but it turned to 'fuck you, whatever!' I loved my group of 5 the most but they all turned faces. I even came to know that they made fun of me behind my back. Life was a bitch, I knew but it would fuck me this way was something I never Imagined. Months passed and things, apart from my friendship got better. I worked for my Dad and he's safely home today without any charges. Tears drop down his cheeks as he speaks all this. He was deeply hurt and life had been mean to him. I felt bad, too bad!
Life is back on track career wise now. Dad is happy for me. I am successful but there is something missing. There's a lot of unanswered questions in my heart which are never gonna be answered. I have a grown a belly and my looks have deteriorated. I miss them but i still don't believe they turned out to be too mean. All they craved were for my money and my status. They were such bastards and I, such a fool. I feel he just experienced the bitter truth and that's how it always is.
I told him, "that's life brother". He nodded. We dint talk for 15 minutes. There was pin-drop silence in the room. He had a bit of smile and look of contentment on his face after that. He had learnt much more about life and he had learnt it the hard way. I told him to freshen up and we went for a long drive on the karnal road that day. He smiled, after months, he said. He thanked me for being there and listening to him. I told him, I was always there. We had dinner at Haveli and returned.
We met a week later and he was back to what he was. He joined gym, trimmed off his beard and flaunted his spikes again. i was happy to see him cheerful. Life was back to him but I think friendship has gone from our lives.
Me, you, it's the same story for everyone.  :)
*deep sigh* as i sign off.

THE FIRST KISS!

It was a cool night that day. Amidst summer, you barely get those nights though but I was witnessing one. I was waiting to board my bus from Jaipur back to Delhi after leaving mom there. I got the ticket and as every normal guy I wished that a beautiful girl sits right besides me. For the backup, I bought a Durjoy Datta novel. I boarded n luckily I got a girl right besides me. She wasn’t as beautiful but a bit cute. Huge eyes hid behind those big spectacles of hers. I was determined to fancy my chances. I thought being ugly you shouldn’t miss much!
The bus journey began and I started searching for a reason to talk to her but sadly was finding none. She was talking to someone on phone and sobbing heavily. I pitied her. Listening to her talk while staring at my novel I got to knew that it was her boyfriend and she was near a breakup. Lucky bastard, that guy was coz when I saw her face quite close to my eyes, she was incredibly CUTE!! She wore a nice tight fitting top with a skirt and a scarf. Nice curly hear which barely reached her shoulder and some old fashioned spectacles. It seemed as if she was a normal middle class girl with extraordinary beauty.
A li’l time passed and I still got no success. After about half an hour she spoke and asked, “hey! What are you reading?” I replied trying not to smile, “a silly sexaholic novel.” She gave me a weird look and turned her face. I knew I was bad at it. Still I tried and we exchanged names. Her name was NANDINI and I wondered that this name is blessed to be cute. After the usual formal conversation, I asked, “are you okay? I am sorry I heard your conversation with your guy” she resisted a bit but gave in coz she needed someone to share and I was the lucky one!
She was a bit formal in the beginning but she soon got normal and shared her part. She told that she’d been with him since 2 years and they were very much in love but since last two months he was behaving in a strange way. She had inquired from her sources and got to knew that he was double dating her. He later confirmed it and it did hurt her bad. She cried a bit while narrating this and pitied her. At the end, I asked her, “You want a hug?” as soon as I finished the sentence, she hugged. She needed it and I was more than glad to help her.
We talked a lot more. She was quite comfortable now and I was relishing the conversation as well. She wished to sleep a bit and I readily agreed. Literally we slept together. *wink*
I looked at her while she was asleep. She had rested her head on my shoulders and trust me the feeling was great. She looked even more beautiful without those specs. I preferred admiring her to my sleep.
 We reached a hotel at the mid-way and I fed her. She joked about my male ego but who cared. I would never get a chance to treat a pretty one as her. We began the journey again with full bellies and another sleep. It had been an hour that I was admiring her again. I felt an affinity towards her name. Suddenly she opened her eyes and caught me staring at her. I don’t know what made her chuckle and give a peck on my cheek but I felt good. She was listening songs on her i-pod looking outside and I was helplessly relishing her beauty. Suddenly while staring away I got a glimpse of her cleavage. I dint want her to think wrong of me and I looked away. Sadly, she had caught me. She naughtily held my hand, took it in her soft hands, stared right into my eyes and uttered and said, “it’s okay”. We were too close to each other. Everyone except a foreign couple was asleep inside the bus. We were quite close to each other. I was breathing heavily and so was she. I don’t know who initiated but our lips met. We kissed. I could feel the taste of the slice she just finished up and was enjoying it. I still remember, her lips were so luscious and soft! The way her tongue entangled with mine in a moving bus with no lights and a bit cold. The way her heavy breath fell on mine and I curled up her hair back behind her ears. It was awesome. My hands were rushing behind her back feeling every inch of it and she was crushing my lips into her and pulling my hair. It felt awesome. I never wanted it to end but she broke it. It felt awesome and she came to me as beautiful as ever. We both sliently sat for an hour more and slept. I woke up with the conductor screaming that we had reached delhi. I hated him. I looked besides me and she was already gone. She got off at gurgaon without even leaving her number or anything to contact. I felt a bit sad and then I felt it was a perfect ending. I had kissed a beautiful girl and it felt awesome. :D