It was 1 in the night and he was taking the long walk back home from the nearby bar. Pleasant winds blew through his face and he was reminded of her. He decided to call her.
After their breakup an year back, they used to talk on and off just to inquire about each other's well-being but they never talked about anything concerning their breakup. She taunted him here and there but dint let him dwell on that topic. He thought it was better in whatever way she felt good.
The conversation began with formal questions and then a lil bit of joke here and there. She was a lil off that night and so, he saw her through.
After a while though, she asked a sensitive question, "Why have you always been ultra-sweet to me after we broke up? Is it because of guilt or pity or something like that? Because it can't be the alcohol effect every time?"
The coldness in her voice pinched him. He knew the answer to her question but he was in a dilemma whether to answer it or not. Before he could sort out his dilemma she misunderstood his silence for awkwardness and said, "Hey listen, my mom's around. I'll give you a call tomorrow, okay?"
He replied with an 'Okay' as they bid goodbye. He knew she wasn't gonna call him.
Later that night, he thought a lot about how to put it in correct words. He dint want her to think that he would hurt her self-esteem anyhow.
He decided to text her.
‘I still love you. And I always will.
It’s not like this is redemption from being lonely or because of some weird flow of emotions but it’s because I believe that if I ever tell/told you that I love/loved you, it meant forever.
It means that a part of me will always be in love with you. I am not the kinda guy who says ‘I love you’ so easily but whenever I do, I am very sure of it.
I’d still always be there for you whenever you need me. I’d like to be the friend that holds your hand when you feel all alone in a crowd. I’d like to be that one random phone call when you are utterly confused about your life. I’d like to be that beary hug when you lose all control over your emotions and you can’t think of anyone around to be with. You’ll always be special.
Many a times, relationships don’t work out the way we want them to. Maybe because of some very stupid decisions, some complex personalities or whatever. But love….love is beyond that.’
He re-read the message as he saw the first ray of sun peer through his window pane. And something in him, forced him to save that message as drafts. He never sent it across.
***
