Friday, 4 April 2014

Excerpts From My Diary #12 - I Walk Away

I was in a completely foul mood today. I had immensely screwed up with my best friend and I thought it was over. Our bond of friendship of over 10 years was over. I was so dismantled inside that I had no idea what was going on around me. I badly needed someone to hold me, to keep me from falling.

I went to the best possible option I had. Vineet's writer friend.

I ran to his terrace which was pretty much our terrace now. He was roaming around with a Benson in his hand. He was probably getting ready for his usual drinking session. I stopped and took a second to admire him. ‘Manh! He actually diverted my mind so easily’, I thought to myself.

I went up to him and I hugged him tight. Tight enough as if I wanted to squeeze a part of me out of him. He just acknowledged the same as he patted my shoulder and asked, "What happened, Garima?"

His husky baritone voice had a magical effect on me. Half of the anxiety was gone by the way he looked into my eyes.

I held my tears back and replied, "Why do people leave? Why do they walk out of our lives as if we were nothing to them?"

"Because you allow them to." He answered back with a confused expression on his face.

I raised my brows. I actually didn't get what he meant.
“Please elaborate!”

He continued as he walked towards the edge of the terrace, "See, everyone you meet in this life will leave some day or the other. There's no such thing as forever. Growing apart is bound to happen. Either through life’s uncalled circumstances or death.

Now the only way to save yourself from that is to leave before they do. That's what I do.”

More than my redemption, I was more interested in listening to him now. I was anyways overreacting. I had several bigger fights with my best friend and we always made up.

“You do? How?” I asked stepping towards him.

“As soon as I realize that the people around me are getting to know a li’l bit about me, my past or my story, I WALK AWAY. I do that even when I realize that I am getting used to people.

Without any question & answers, without any truth or lies, I walk away. Simply because I know that I won't be able to take the fact that they left me. That way I fail god's trick to hurt me." He ends with a smile. A sad one though.

I take two minutes to absorb that.

"But you won't leave me ever. Will you?" I ask like a kid.

He doesn't reply for a while.

“I’ll always be there when you need me.” He mentions as we stare into the horizon. There was nothing more left to say but I had another fear by the end of the conversation and this time I wasn’t over reacting.

***

8 comments:

  1. But den... At d end ...he assured her to be der for her wenever she wld need him....wenever means forever....dat means ...now hez also trapped in d forever trap.. No ?

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  2. I keep on re reading and so on for each and every write up of yours and I wonder how could anyone be so good.. In describing exactly what the writer friend thinks or what Garima feels.. and you just give goosebumps for the feel.. Keep writing!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot, Shraddha! <3 :)
      Keep reading.!! :)

      Delete
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  4. But den... At d end ...he assured her to be der for her wenever she wld need him...

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